She is in my trunk
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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