So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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