he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Are we still banned from the library?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
