He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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