I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
