Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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