I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
