The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
