You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
