I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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