So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
