Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
