2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i think my tv is drunk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
