We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
