dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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