Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
