I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You pole danced in your parka.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
