I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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