He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
