i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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