my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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