Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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