Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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