My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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