Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
