he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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