Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
did i walk over a car last night?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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