can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
