why didn't you poke me back
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
