I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this just has baby written all over it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize