She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
