i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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