I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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