where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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