did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
