I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
