he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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