i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
