Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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