Buhtt sex?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
nutella sex= disaster
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
