my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
