I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
