You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He kissed a someone with a penis
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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