she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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