you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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