You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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