Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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