i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I had to cum in my sink.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
