the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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