In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
