Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
