The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
