Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize