Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
