While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she peed on how many people?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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