no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
