I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
