She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
